A Picture For Your Senses, Or Others like it.

The coast.

Escambron, Puerto Rico

Rant,

I'm staring at a standstill, unable to move and gradually declining into self-hate, or some sort of pity that one might become (later-on) suicidal about.  And searching for the truth of the matter will mostly (surely) yield into the better part of nothing. Then thing about this sort of void I find myself staring at right now is the fullness of it, and in order to not drag on and on about the obvious irony of such a feeling, well, let's just say it doesn't make for great emotional stability. I attempt to mean that I am not really sure what the fuck I'm worried about. The main part of this "phase" is comprised of confusion about actions that I have already done a kazillion of times over in my life, yet for some reason they just seem brand new. I think I know what's gonna happen, and for a certain amount of time I am correct about the coming events, but this sort of "knowledge" just vanishes at the mere sight of self-deception, which if you ask me  is the worst kind of sabotage there is. I am willing, at some point in life, to completely construct this sort of comfortable facade about what's happening, be aware of it AND live in it AT the SAME TIME. Something that just nags me about it is the fact that there is just no big secret behind it, there is nothing hidden, everything is an open book, but to myself I just dwell in the thought that maybe there is much more complex stuff where there really shouldn't be, and that makes for some rather confusing loose ends. There is a point where it will all cease, I of all people should know that I've been through hell and back (emotionally speaking) and that I could care less about pathetic emotional questionings of this kind. But then again... what is one's self without some sort of overcomplicated emotional shit?

No Hay Para Muchos

cafre.
(Del port. cáfer[e], y este del ár. clás. kāfir, pagano).
1. adj. Habitante de la antigua colonia inglesa de Cafrería, en Sudáfrica. U. t. c. s.
2. adj. Bárbaro y cruel. U. m. c. s.
3. adj. Zafio y rústico. U. m. c. s.


Eres un cafre amigo?
Te encuentras siendo acechado por gente que se pasa diciendotelo en la cara?

No sufras tanto al saber que todos tenemos un cafre por dentro.

(Obviamente ignorando el detallado significado de la palabra cafre cortesia de la Real Academia Espanola) Podemos ver cuan simplemente intersante y gracioso (tenemos que admitirlo) es agrupar a las personas en simples nombres que generalizan el comportamiento de una cultura oprimida, que solo busca las maneras mas obvias, e indeseables de ser escuchada.

Ponte a mirar un poco los basicos comportamientos de nosotros (siendo un 'clash inedito' de distintas culturas) nos encontramos amasados entre la depravacion sexual, su concepto de ser 'formalmente aceptada y entendida' y las mismas morales que exigen los politicos con la iglesia en mente.

Eso si, no le quita a ningun puertorriqueno el derecho de ser una bicha de primera clase (hombre o mujer, no importa) pero si nos da a entender que nos gusta burlarnos de las diferentes facetas que nos completan como lo que somos.
Es decir.

Nos encontramos riendonos de nosotros mismos.

No es simplemente grandioso?

ScarY PlaceS

I'm starting to think blogging is outdated. Ironic AND pathetic enough since it is now my first 'stab' at it. There is so much I'd like to write on so little time, and as if wanting that was not general enough I just intend it to 'flow'. Yeah, just flow. I'm not intending to take this as a medium for which I will be surprisingly discovered into my screenwriting dream job, (thanks Diablo Cody, for killing this hope for so many of us :) , nor do I want it to become something significant to outer beings looking for solace in the words of someone who might appeal to their beliefs. I'm just in it for the writing, for the rapid sound of the keyboard that makes me feel as geeky as I feel when catching that rerun of Buffy on TV, even though I own the complete series on DVD, or the unstoppable  screaming over a plot twist during an episode of 'Battlestar Galactica'. I'm in it for some of those vague but personally satisfying reasons that populate my scary life. Scary cause it's about to change. And as a firm believer that change is good, I ready myself to count down those 5 seconds hug the fear of this coming wave of change as hard as I can, and just plain breeze through it into a better or maybe harder fall in any tomorrow that is ready to greet me.

It kinda fell at the end didn't it?

This is my first post.

This blog will alternate between English and Spanish. Espanol/Ingles.

So, just bare there. :)

Feel free to leave comments or contact me.

-Cris